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Yoga class can be a supportive community in which teachers feel safe enough to speak openly to students. Sometimes *very* openly. I remember a teacher who waxed on so colorfully about the details of her latest celebrity crush that she had me laughing even while holding Chair Pose much longer than usual. I appreciated the personality—and the leg-strengthening work—she brought to her teaching.
But I have also taken classes in which other students and I shifted uneasily in our Easy Seats as teachers digressed into long, uncomfortable monologues about their relationships with their mothers or intimate partners. As a yoga teacher, I admit I’m guilty of having overshared. I once left a class in which I’d taught mula bandha kicking myself—there was zero (zero!) need for me to mention my own pelvic floor to students.
“I’ve heard it all,” says Barbara Agnello, PhD, a behavior analyst and co-owner of High Frequency Loft, a movement space in Taos, NM. “I’ve heard about pregnancies, divorces, miscarriages, deaths, breakups, new boyfriends, and old girlfriends. And I’m not there for that,” she says. Juliana Anastasoff, a longtime public health educator, agrees. “A learning community like a yoga class can be extremely supportive on all kinds of levels, but it’s not a support group,” she adds.
For yoga teachers, finding the line between appropriate and inappropriate sharing can be tricky. But keeping a few things in mind—such as what, when, and why you share—can help you keep your self-disclosures within a cringe-free zone.
Appropriate Ways to Share During Yoga Class
“’Self-disclosure’ is the sharing of personal information about yourself because you believe that it will help another person,” says Anastasoff. A yoga teacher might self-disclose when they explain the personal relevance of a practice or a pose, or when they relate to a student who confides in them about a personal problem or injury.
Sometimes these self-disclosures can be valuable. “Sharing personal stories can be a beautiful, impactful part of teaching when the circumstances are right,” observes Reema Datta, international yoga teacher and author of The Yogi’s Way: Transform Your Mind, Health and Reality.
Sharing a few words about their imperfections or struggles can help yoga teachers come across as more relatable and, well, human. “We’re often trying to let somebody know that we feel the same way, or that we have felt that way,” says Agnello. “If the yoga teacher is so zen, I’ll say to myself, ‘They have no idea what life is like,’” she adds.
The Risks of Oversharing With Your Yoga Students
Although the intention of a yoga teacher who shares a personal experience may be to support students, the result can fall short. Sometimes dramatically so. This dynamic may actually burden students to the point where their focus is on the teacher’s issues instead of their yoga practice, according to Anastasoff. “Now students are worried about the instructor instead of about their own well-being,” she says. “You can see it in their faces.”
Self-disclosures can run the emotional gamut, but the more painful an experience was for you, the more circumspect you want to be about sharing it. Upsetting personal stories can be disruptive to many students who are feeling fragile, perhaps even reawakening their own distressing memories, which can distract them during their yoga practice.
Students may be moved to share similar experiences, and class could quickly turn into a sharing circle or even descend into one-upmanship. “We could start trying to trump each other, like, ‘My trauma is worse than yours.’ That doesn’t really do any good, and we could all get so locked in that trauma vortex we are not able to access our yoga,” explains Agnello.
The risks of oversharing extend not only to students but to instructors. Yes, you may cringe afterward as you reflect on what you’ve revealed. But also, as Agnello points out, yoga class is not a confidential environment. The information you shared may go further than you want. “Any student can leave that class and tell everybody they meet on the street what they heard, and before you know it, the whole town knows about your divorce,” says Agnello.
How to Stop Oversharing
When it comes to determining what you do and don’t share, the principles of yoga–specifically, brahmacharya–can perhaps be a guiding force. This yama, often translated as “continence,” “encourages moderation and thoughtful restraint,” explains Datta. “We can share personal stories with a sense of containment to ensure they don’t create unintended distractions or shift focus away from students.”
Focusing on the students and what serves them is paramount, says Anastasoff. “You’ve got to know what’s motivating you. If what’s motivating you is service, which centers the learner, their experience, their needs, then you know your story is not so important,” she says. In that case, perhaps it’s not necessary to share it.
According to Anastasoff, an important professional practice for all instructors is self-reflection, and “part of self-reflection is keeping a few questions in your head.” Her list includes:
- Why am I sharing this? What is my intention?
- Is what I’m sharing relevant?
- How will sharing it affect me?
- How will it affect the community I’m part of? Will it burden them or benefit them?
Even if your intention is a laudable one—such as creating a connection with your students— you may discover that something you’re inclined to share benefits only you and not your students.
Fortunately, speaking about yourself isn’t the only way of creating a connection. “Your listening, your presence, your skills are what will make that connection happen,” says Anastasoff.
If you determine that what you have to share is relevant and of direct benefit to students, you may still need to limit your self-disclosures. “I think we just have to be really mindful about a safe container, a short container, so we don’t get stuck or put our foot in our mouth,” advises Agnello.
When she uses herself as an example in class, she makes sure to keep it brief and general. “I’ll say, ‘I tend to be high strung,’ or ‘I tend to be a little anxious. So I’m going to exhale and let that anxiety go, and inhale calmness,’” says Agnello. “I think that’s general enough to share and not scare,” she adds.
Determining what is appropriate for you to share while you teach takes practice, and it may not be something you do perfectly every time. As your yoga practice helps you refine your awareness, you may become more attuned to the subtle shifts in your external and internal environments that indicate you’ve moved into the realm of oversharing. You may feel the energy in the room change with your students’ discomfort, or a growing sense of inner precariousness as you drift away from service. If that’s the case, take a breath and, as Agnello suggests, return your focus to the practice of yoga. “That’s why we’re here,” she says.
