There are the gross movements of yoga asana and the deeper nuances of silencing the mind and self-reflection – through breath or bodywork – moving through what is stuck in the body and releasing old blockages, allowing me to see the world with a fresh outlook.
I have tried them all. Yet, last month, I completed a 21-day Panchakarma in Kerala, the home of Āyurveda. In a green hospital room alone (well, 20 knocks on the door daily) but with no one but me in between. My body and mind slowed as the treatment continued, a welcome response to my natural go-go-Torontonian self.
This experience enabled me to witness the impatience and intolerance in within me and the world contrasted with compassion, kindness and lingering ego.
A great clarity arose from this experience, one I thought I knew but now saw a lit. As I softened, the world seemed to attack.
There was an apparent lack of care and others. I wrote this at the time…
“I am witnessing my interactions with people and their responses to me. When I feel gentle, I am attacked; when I feel powerful, they are afraid – this cycle of fear, power, kindness, and vulnerability is so alive in me. I witness all of these parts of me co-exist. There was mild irritation with the 24 knocks on the door by 1 pm. I appreciated the gentleness when someone with compassion looked into my eyes. The therapist in me wants to help the nurse suffering, and the witness observing reminds me that I, too, can rest and it’s not my time to help but take help.
Few places have touched this part of me – each of the four vipassana (10-day silent meditations) or after an intense self-exploration of archetypal characters like Mahabharata or being alone across the world, not speaking the language and sitting in a room with the classic “Hospital” green walls that holds old tape from posters, water drop stains and dirt on the walls all blending in, metal bars on the windows and fringed polyester curtains with white and maroon leaves in a vertical pattern, an old TV that I’ve never turned on by instead I look at the cable to the wall that has the same green paint spattered along it and a series of cords intertwined into one socket.
I sit at the mercy of the doctors and nurses. The door flies open at any moment so they can check blood pressure and provide herbs kashyam, ginger tea or kanji. I’m on day 3 of rice soup—nothing but watery rice soup in the morning & afternoon.
It’s 10 am and 31 degrees outside. The sound of traffic roaring by is blocked by a large metal gate and sliding privacy glass window that allows only shadows to come through onto the dark green granite desk in front and the brown plastic chair I sit on as I write this.
We are exposed to many personalities, stories, and ideas in life. Each of us carries these different character traits – the victim, warrior, nurturer, friend, and safe space.
Our beliefs and experiences create our responses to the world. And if we are not careful, we dump these on the people we interact with instead of seeing them and learning to unknot them. The idea of yoga is to practice cleansing, releasing what is stuck and or polishing this crystal (spatika) within us per se, daily. The more you do this calmly and allow the body to settle afterwards. To truly rest and observe in that resting space.” It’s also the time you can release the projections from the world; these are not you to carry. the miscommunication and misunderstandings that form due to these six enemies or poisons
kama (lust),
krodha (anger),
moha (attraction),
lobha (greed),
madhya (pride),
matsarya (jealousy)
These six enemies are reduced and eventually removed by practicing yoga well. We can touch pure and vulnerable space within the source of true light, our true nature.
Do you know this space?
With all this in mind, I am honoured to offer courses that help touch this space—Yoga Sutras of Patañjali, Introduction to Vedic Chanting, Samkyakarika and the Aroya Mantra. Plus, there is a chance to learn yoga therapy for Ashtanga teachers this May.
