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We’ve all been there, standing on our mats in yoga class, wanting to follow the teacher’s cues…if only we could figure out what the beautiful, confusing words they just said meant. Was that a poetic metaphor or is my spine literally supposed to produce extra vertebrae and lengthen?
I’m the student who regularly giggles to myself at the instructor’s yoga-isms. I’m also the yoga teacher who says numerous things that don’t necessarily make sense in reality but feel so right in the moment. Have you heard these expressions before?
1. Your head is floating up to the ceiling.
Slightly concerned that my head morphed into a balloon from all those deep breaths we just took, but that visual does instantly help my shoulders relax so I’ll take it.
2. Watch your breath in your mind’s eye.
Does my mind have an eye? Isn’t breath invisible? I think I need a reference photo for this one.
3. Relax your eyelids.
Obviously.
4. Soften your cheeks.
Which ones?
5. Allow yourself to just be.
But be what?
6. Lengthen your spine.
Who knew we all have the power to get taller if we simply choose it? Yoga teachers, that’s who knew.
7. Drop your tongue away from the roof of your mouth.
But how did the teacher know it was there?!
8. Feel the ground lifting up to support you.
I’m in L.A., so that might just be an earthquake.
9. Root down into the earth.
As I zone out, thinking that this seems like it would require some sort of construction equipment or building permits, I fall out of Tree Pose.
10. Forget about your to-do list.
This goes against the entire purpose of a to-do list and I love that kind of radical thinking. If “file taxes” or “pay rent” is that important, then the universe will make it happen.
11. Let your body move how it wants to.
But what if it doesn’t want to move?
12. Engage your solar plexus.
Wait, where’s my solar plexus?
13. Plant your hands and lift your feet off the ground.
Can I just pretend I didn’t hear?
14. Activate every cell in your body.
Some of my cells seem to be out of office, but check back later.
15. Shine your heart forward.
This one actually does make sense…when I wear my sequins.
16. Inhale from your root to your crown.
My high school biology teacher never covered this, so I’m grateful my yoga teacher is informing us that “roots” and “crowns” are very real parts of the human anatomy.
17. Child’s Pose can cause an emotional release.
I’m definitely feeling a gastrointestinal release… apologies to the person next to me.
18. Let whatever comes up for you just flow out.
Okay, so we’re all just farting now.
19. Fan the flame within.
Sounds like a fire hazard.
20. This is our last breath.
Pretty sure they mean last breath in this pose, but also, feels ominous.
